1
00:00:00,664 --> 00:00:03,264
(upbeat music)

2
00:00:30,111 --> 00:00:32,111
But where do you live now?

3
00:00:32,791 --> 00:00:34,791
With the lost boys.

4
00:00:35,712 --> 00:00:37,172
Who are they?

5
00:00:37,272 --> 00:00:40,492
They are the children who fall
out of their perambulators

6
00:00:40,593 --> 00:00:42,593
when the nurse is looking the other way.

7
00:00:43,754 --> 00:00:46,644
And if they're not claimed in seven days,

8
00:00:47,635 --> 00:00:50,195
then they are sent far away,

9
00:00:54,356 --> 00:00:56,356
to Neverland.

10
00:00:57,037 --> 00:01:00,657
- Bed.
- Daddy?

11
00:01:00,758 --> 00:01:02,618
- Yeah?
- We're like lost boys,

12
00:01:02,718 --> 00:01:04,418
- aren't we?
- Why?

13
00:01:04,519 --> 00:01:05,699
Because you have lots of adventures.

14
00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:07,799
No, because we don't have a mummy.

15
00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,640
Daddy, do you have adventures?

16
00:01:13,681 --> 00:01:15,681
Erm, you guys,

17
00:01:19,762 --> 00:01:21,762
you guys are my big adventure.

18
00:01:23,563 --> 00:01:25,563
Night, babies.

19
00:01:26,284 --> 00:01:28,844
(gentle music)

20
00:01:49,129 --> 00:01:52,529
(gentle music continues)

21
00:02:05,813 --> 00:02:07,813
What are you thinking about?

22
00:02:09,534 --> 00:02:11,534
Today.

23
00:02:13,895 --> 00:02:16,215
- Do you want my advice?
- Yeah.

24
00:02:17,176 --> 00:02:20,876
Just get through it.

25
00:02:20,977 --> 00:02:22,977
Are you gonna have a drink today?

26
00:02:23,897 --> 00:02:27,417
No. If I start, I won't be able to stop.

27
00:02:30,219 --> 00:02:33,859
Okay. The other thing
I was gonna say was,

28
00:02:36,860 --> 00:02:38,860
- if you start to cry.
- I won't.

29
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- Why?
- Same reason.

30
00:02:48,143 --> 00:02:51,163
(baby crying)

31
00:02:51,264 --> 00:02:53,264
Is that yours or mine?

32
00:02:55,705 --> 00:02:57,785
- Mine.
- What time is it?

33
00:02:59,186 --> 00:03:02,546
(baby continues crying)

34
00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:09,588
Ten to five.

35
00:03:11,148 --> 00:03:14,148
Right, let's call that
morning then, shall we?

36
00:03:20,591 --> 00:03:23,191
(gentle music)

37
00:03:45,396 --> 00:03:49,636
- (baby cries)
- Shh, shh, it's okay.

38
00:03:50,718 --> 00:03:54,118
(gentle music continues)

39
00:04:05,881 --> 00:04:07,881
I knew Jess for three years,

40
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and I loved her.

41
00:04:17,564 --> 00:04:19,574
We had two children together

42
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and we were a family,

43
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for two days,

44
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and that's not fair.

45
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It's not fair on me and
it's not fair on her.

46
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But most importantly,
it's not fair on them.

47
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'Cause without Jess in our lives,

48
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no matter how much we, we
think we're missing out on,

49
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it's, it's nothing
compared to what they are

50
00:05:00,054 --> 00:05:02,054
because I can't love them for her.

51
00:05:03,975 --> 00:05:05,975
I can do this on my own

52
00:05:09,136 --> 00:05:12,496
and that might sound strange,
so, so let me clarify it.

53
00:05:19,499 --> 00:05:20,599
I can do this on my own

54
00:05:20,699 --> 00:05:24,019
because I have to,
because they need me to.

55
00:05:25,580 --> 00:05:27,580
It doesn't mean that I want to.

56
00:05:28,261 --> 00:05:31,421
- (baby crying)
- Sorry.

57
00:05:37,743 --> 00:05:39,743
So here's another promise.

58
00:05:41,464 --> 00:05:42,204
If you ever wake up

59
00:05:42,304 --> 00:05:46,514
and think, "I'd like
to see the twins today.

60
00:05:47,385 --> 00:05:49,245
I wonder if that's possible".

61
00:05:49,346 --> 00:05:51,626
Then know that the answer
will always be yes,

62
00:05:52,946 --> 00:05:54,946
because if we do that,

63
00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:57,207
if every time you want
to see them, then you do,

64
00:05:57,307 --> 00:05:59,647
if every time you want to
be with them, then you are,

65
00:05:59,748 --> 00:06:04,028
then maybe, maybe we
can love them for her.

66
00:06:17,232 --> 00:06:19,232
I think that's what Jess would've wanted.

67
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(soft music)

68
00:06:31,636 --> 00:06:33,836
They wanna know if they
can have a biscuit in bed.

69
00:06:35,236 --> 00:06:37,236
Didn't think so.

70
00:06:38,037 --> 00:06:39,337
You know, you don't have to
sleep on that every time.

71
00:06:39,437 --> 00:06:41,817
- I don't mind.
- Yeah, I know.

72
00:06:41,918 --> 00:06:42,678
But you also don't mind complaining

73
00:06:42,678 --> 00:06:44,758
about your back for all
the next day, do you?

74
00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:51,640
- Mum?
- What?

75
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:56,460
- I don't want to go.
- Oh, bloody hell, Ben.

76
00:06:56,561 --> 00:06:58,561
You're meeting a mate, not.

77
00:06:59,562 --> 00:07:01,142
You can't spend the rest of your life sat

78
00:07:01,242 --> 00:07:01,942
in here with me.

79
00:07:02,043 --> 00:07:05,303
You need to go out and, I don't know.

80
00:07:05,403 --> 00:07:06,263
Go, go. Go on.

81
00:07:06,364 --> 00:07:08,364
- Go on.
- Okay.

82
00:07:10,205 --> 00:07:12,205
- See you later.
- Have fun.

83
00:07:13,805 --> 00:07:16,805
(upbeat club music)

84
00:07:24,488 --> 00:07:25,948
Hey, do you ever, erm,

85
00:07:26,048 --> 00:07:28,548
ever like think about
having another relationship?

86
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:29,829
- No.
- Okay.

87
00:07:29,929 --> 00:07:33,069
But like in the future,
distant future, I dunno.

88
00:07:33,170 --> 00:07:34,510
Do you think about like..?

89
00:07:34,610 --> 00:07:35,830
Three features deadlines, an appointment

90
00:07:35,931 --> 00:07:38,391
to get ear wax extracted
from a child's ear

91
00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:40,791
and two World Book Day costumes

92
00:07:40,892 --> 00:07:42,072
that we haven't even started yet.

93
00:07:42,172 --> 00:07:43,312
Right? Those are the things that I need

94
00:07:43,412 --> 00:07:44,912
to think about before Friday,

95
00:07:45,013 --> 00:07:47,593
so no, I don't think about relationships

96
00:07:47,693 --> 00:07:48,553
in the distant future

97
00:07:48,654 --> 00:07:51,274
because I don't think
about the distant future.

98
00:07:51,374 --> 00:07:53,484
- I just think about.
- Ear wax.

99
00:07:53,575 --> 00:07:55,195
Yeah. Yeah, more than you know.

100
00:07:55,295 --> 00:07:57,295
- Why?
- Huh?

101
00:07:58,056 --> 00:08:00,056
What do you reckon?

102
00:08:00,736 --> 00:08:02,636
Come on mate. Time to
get back in the game.

103
00:08:02,737 --> 00:08:04,737
- Come on
- Come on.

104
00:08:05,097 --> 00:08:07,097
Really?

105
00:08:10,619 --> 00:08:12,279
Do you know what's weird?

106
00:08:12,379 --> 00:08:17,239
That neither of them feel
the need to come up for air?

107
00:08:17,340 --> 00:08:20,720
I mean, I'm actually
starting to worry for them.

108
00:08:20,821 --> 00:08:22,821
Do you think we should call someone?

109
00:08:26,863 --> 00:08:29,303
(soft music)

110
00:08:43,907 --> 00:08:45,907
Okay?

111
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:51,228
I'm really sorry. I can't do this.

112
00:08:53,069 --> 00:08:55,909
(soft club music)

113
00:09:02,151 --> 00:09:06,071
(people indistinct chattering)

114
00:09:09,833 --> 00:09:12,553
- I envy that.
- What?

115
00:09:16,474 --> 00:09:19,864
Faith, you know, the kind of faith

116
00:09:19,955 --> 00:09:22,115
that allows you to
believe that she's okay,

117
00:09:23,116 --> 00:09:26,176
that she's in a better place,
that you'll see her again.

118
00:09:26,276 --> 00:09:29,616
The kind of faith that
allows you to experience all

119
00:09:29,717 --> 00:09:34,357
of this and just praise God.

120
00:09:36,799 --> 00:09:38,659
I'm not sure if that's what he's doing.

121
00:09:38,759 --> 00:09:40,759
[Ben] What do you think he's doing?

122
00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,120
I think he's searching for him.

123
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I'll go.

124
00:09:55,323 --> 00:09:59,243
(people indistinct chattering)

125
00:10:11,647 --> 00:10:13,647
- You promised me.
- What?

126
00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:17,368
You sat at our table
and you promised me that

127
00:10:18,809 --> 00:10:21,689
that you would keep our only child safe.

128
00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:26,510
Why couldn't you do that, hm?

129
00:10:26,611 --> 00:10:28,071
Why did you let this happen?

130
00:10:28,171 --> 00:10:29,031
Can we not do this now?

131
00:10:29,131 --> 00:10:31,611
- I want to know why.
- I don't know why!

132
00:10:34,012 --> 00:10:35,992
I don't know why any
of this had to happen.

133
00:10:36,093 --> 00:10:39,793
I don't think that everything
happens for a reason and I,

134
00:10:39,894 --> 00:10:42,114
and I don't believe that that
God moves in mysterious ways,

135
00:10:42,214 --> 00:10:43,364
'cause if he does and this is it,

136
00:10:43,455 --> 00:10:44,195
- then he can go...
- Oi!

137
00:10:44,295 --> 00:10:46,295
Well he didn't keep her safe, did he?

138
00:10:56,618 --> 00:11:00,318
I don't know why, but if blaming me

139
00:11:00,419 --> 00:11:02,159
makes you feel one iota
better, then go for it.

140
00:11:02,259 --> 00:11:04,259
'Cause you know what makes me feel better?

141
00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:08,300
Absolutely nothing.

142
00:11:11,341 --> 00:11:13,361
- Ben.
- Leave him alone.

143
00:11:13,462 --> 00:11:15,782
- Ben!
- Leave him alone!

144
00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:29,225
(door slamming closed)

145
00:11:31,826 --> 00:11:36,826
(sirens wailing)
(city traffic rumbling)

146
00:11:42,388 --> 00:11:47,308
- (door slamming)
- Oi, shh. You'll wake 'em.

147
00:11:52,271 --> 00:11:54,251
- Good night?
- No.

148
00:11:54,351 --> 00:11:57,551
- Oh God, why not?
- Mum, can you just leave it,

149
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:00,612
please, all right, for tonight,

150
00:12:00,713 --> 00:12:02,173
can you actually just leave it?

151
00:12:02,273 --> 00:12:05,593
- I've had enough of this.
- Yeah, well go home then.

152
00:12:09,115 --> 00:12:10,935
You know, some people actually pay me

153
00:12:11,035 --> 00:12:12,975
to clean their houses, Ben.

154
00:12:13,076 --> 00:12:15,736
I have a job. I have a life.

155
00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:17,136
Do you think that I drive 200 miles

156
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,857
down here every month for
the good of my health?

157
00:12:18,957 --> 00:12:20,137
Do you think this is easy for me?

158
00:12:20,237 --> 00:12:22,537
Do you think this is easy for me?

159
00:12:22,638 --> 00:12:27,018
Do you? Do you think that,
that eating and sleeping,

160
00:12:27,119 --> 00:12:28,979
walking, talking, breathing
in and out is easy for me

161
00:12:29,079 --> 00:12:29,819
'cause it's not, all right?

162
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:31,580
- Nothing is easy for me.
- So move on.

163
00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:35,700
I tried! Right tonight, I tried.

164
00:12:35,801 --> 00:12:36,741
I actually tried.

165
00:12:36,841 --> 00:12:38,841
And even when I try.

166
00:12:42,242 --> 00:12:43,422
Look, you asked me if
tonight was a good night,

167
00:12:43,523 --> 00:12:47,843
and to be honest with you,
yeah, yeah it was, and then I.

168
00:12:55,606 --> 00:12:58,706
Do you remember a couple
years ago when Jack

169
00:12:58,806 --> 00:13:02,066
and Poppy wanted a glitter
party for their birthday.

170
00:13:02,167 --> 00:13:04,067
I had to ask Dee what one was

171
00:13:04,168 --> 00:13:05,348
- and she said it's just.
- A load of glitter.

172
00:13:05,448 --> 00:13:07,308
Yeah, it's just glitter, right?

173
00:13:07,408 --> 00:13:10,108
It's glitter drinks
and glitter face paint.

174
00:13:10,209 --> 00:13:13,209
Anyway, after you'd all left,

175
00:13:14,050 --> 00:13:16,050
it took me an age to clean the flat.

176
00:13:17,331 --> 00:13:20,231
But the funny thing is
right, even though I thought

177
00:13:20,331 --> 00:13:24,551
that I'd got it all, a couple
of days later, I'd be tidying

178
00:13:24,652 --> 00:13:26,652
up and I'd move something and ooh,

179
00:13:29,574 --> 00:13:31,574
there's a piece of glitter.

180
00:13:33,134 --> 00:13:34,684
And then a few days later,
there'd be another piece

181
00:13:34,775 --> 00:13:37,235
and had a couple of months
later, at Christmas maybe,

182
00:13:37,335 --> 00:13:42,335
or on Jess's birthday,
I'd be shaking the rug out

183
00:13:42,657 --> 00:13:47,257
and loads of pieces of
glitter would just fly off,

184
00:13:51,259 --> 00:13:55,019
even though I felt sure
that I'd got it all by then.

185
00:14:00,141 --> 00:14:02,141
That's what it feels like.

186
00:14:05,262 --> 00:14:08,842
Just when you think
you're, you're doing well.

187
00:14:08,943 --> 00:14:10,943
Just when you think you, you're healing,

188
00:14:14,544 --> 00:14:16,554
there's a piece of glitter

189
00:14:19,465 --> 00:14:24,465
and your heart breaks all over again.

190
00:14:30,348 --> 00:14:33,308
The truth is, I met someone
really special and she died

191
00:14:35,989 --> 00:14:38,149
and I'm never gonna meet
anyone as special again.

192
00:14:50,913 --> 00:14:54,513
So, not a good night then?

193
00:15:01,595 --> 00:15:04,195
(gentle music)

194
00:15:31,082 --> 00:15:33,082
This is my story now.

195
00:15:37,124 --> 00:15:41,334
We had two children
together and the next day.

196
00:15:50,287 --> 00:15:53,447
(churchgoers singing)

197
00:16:00,129 --> 00:16:01,909
This is where I want to get married.

198
00:16:02,009 --> 00:16:04,009
Oh, yeah?

199
00:16:05,010 --> 00:16:07,010
Got anyone in mind?

200
00:16:07,851 --> 00:16:11,011
(churchgoers singing)

201
00:16:23,814 --> 00:16:26,424
(gentle music)

202
00:16:40,058 --> 00:16:41,318
In you go.

203
00:16:41,419 --> 00:16:43,419
Hello, love.

204
00:16:46,220 --> 00:16:48,200
He's in a good mood.

205
00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:50,300
(door slams shut)
Doors!

206
00:16:50,781 --> 00:16:54,441
Poppy? What happened at school today?

207
00:16:54,542 --> 00:16:56,542
We're not talking about it.

208
00:16:59,743 --> 00:17:01,743
I'll go.

209
00:17:02,584 --> 00:17:04,584
- (door slams shut)
- [Ben And Linda] Doors!

210
00:17:06,424 --> 00:17:09,034
(gentle music)

211
00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:18,907
Guys, do you want to tell
me what happened today now?

212
00:17:20,468 --> 00:17:22,468
Are you gonna tell him?

213
00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:29,109
Okay. Well apparently Jack
said that their mummy was

214
00:17:30,470 --> 00:17:35,130
in heaven and then some kid
at school said, no she wasn't,

215
00:17:35,231 --> 00:17:37,171
because heaven doesn't exist.

216
00:17:37,272 --> 00:17:40,192
Is that true?
(gentle music)

217
00:17:46,634 --> 00:17:48,634
Erm.

218
00:17:52,555 --> 00:17:55,235
Don't. I just spoke to my dad.

219
00:17:57,036 --> 00:17:58,776
- How is he?
- Good.

220
00:17:58,877 --> 00:18:00,877
He mentioned christening them again.

221
00:18:01,958 --> 00:18:03,218
Look, I know you don't believe.

222
00:18:03,318 --> 00:18:04,178
- Yeah, I don't.
- And honestly,

223
00:18:04,278 --> 00:18:05,778
I'm not sure I believe either.

224
00:18:05,878 --> 00:18:07,898
But I would like them to be open

225
00:18:07,999 --> 00:18:10,239
to the possibility of
believing in something.

226
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:13,440
I think it's important.

227
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:14,860
It's important to my family

228
00:18:14,961 --> 00:18:17,621
- and it's important to me.
- Yeah, I know, I just.

229
00:18:17,721 --> 00:18:19,341
Do we really wanna start
raising our children

230
00:18:19,442 --> 00:18:23,002
by telling them that Jesus is magic?

231
00:18:25,883 --> 00:18:27,623
How about we start raising our children

232
00:18:27,724 --> 00:18:29,104
by showing them there's more

233
00:18:29,204 --> 00:18:30,824
than one way of looking at things.

234
00:18:30,924 --> 00:18:32,754
How about we do that, Ben?

235
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:34,145
Can we at least have
a conversation about it?

236
00:18:34,245 --> 00:18:36,065
We just did.

237
00:18:36,166 --> 00:18:38,166
- (door shuts)
- Doors!

238
00:18:39,246 --> 00:18:41,806
(gentle music)

239
00:18:43,207 --> 00:18:45,207
Well, the truth is,

240
00:18:47,368 --> 00:18:50,828
that different people
believe different things,

241
00:18:50,929 --> 00:18:52,469
but nobody really knows.

242
00:18:52,569 --> 00:18:54,569
Well, where do you think she is?

243
00:18:57,571 --> 00:18:59,571
Well, I know where she is.

244
00:19:00,291 --> 00:19:02,291
She's in you, isn't she?

245
00:19:03,532 --> 00:19:05,272
She's part of you.

246
00:19:05,372 --> 00:19:09,572
She's in your eyes and
she's in your smile.

247
00:19:11,414 --> 00:19:13,414
She's in the things that you like.

248
00:19:16,855 --> 00:19:18,855
Did she like trains?

249
00:19:23,657 --> 00:19:26,817
- Yeah. Yeah, she did.
- Train mad.

250
00:19:27,978 --> 00:19:30,578
(gentle music)

251
00:19:39,380 --> 00:19:41,560
On the desk.

252
00:19:41,661 --> 00:19:42,361
So, the kids tea is in ...

253
00:19:42,461 --> 00:19:43,221
Mum, I'm sure whatever you were about

254
00:19:43,221 --> 00:19:44,121
to say was gonna be riveting,

255
00:19:44,222 --> 00:19:47,042
- but I've gotta go, okay.
- Fine.

256
00:19:47,142 --> 00:19:48,562
And you can take that down
for me while you're at it.

257
00:19:48,663 --> 00:19:52,083
- Okay.
- Why are you rushing?

258
00:19:52,183 --> 00:19:54,183
- Are we late?
- No.

259
00:20:00,905 --> 00:20:01,645
[Dee On Phone] You're late.

260
00:20:01,746 --> 00:20:03,926
But I've been writing for
this paper for six years.

261
00:20:04,026 --> 00:20:05,486
Do you know how many
actors I've interviewed

262
00:20:05,587 --> 00:20:07,327
for this column about rising stars?

263
00:20:07,427 --> 00:20:09,367
- Lots.
- Yeah, correct.

264
00:20:09,467 --> 00:20:10,567
And do you know how many have risen?

265
00:20:10,668 --> 00:20:11,568
- None.
- Yeah, correct again.

266
00:20:11,668 --> 00:20:12,848
Look, this is a pointless column

267
00:20:12,948 --> 00:20:15,048
that nobody's interested
in, least of all me.

268
00:20:15,149 --> 00:20:17,809
Also, nobody cares about plays.

269
00:20:17,909 --> 00:20:20,069
- Ah, just do it.
- Anyway, I'm here.

270
00:20:29,272 --> 00:20:33,492
Hi, hey, sorry, sorry,

271
00:20:33,593 --> 00:20:37,453
I had to run and haven't,
well, run in 10 years.

272
00:20:37,554 --> 00:20:39,294
- I can tell.
- Yeah.

273
00:20:39,394 --> 00:20:42,024
Anyway, thank you so much for doing this.

274
00:20:42,115 --> 00:20:44,135
Everyone at the paper is
really excited about it,

275
00:20:44,236 --> 00:20:46,236
so I'm just gonna find my dictaphone.

276
00:20:47,716 --> 00:20:48,576
Oh, here we go.

277
00:20:48,677 --> 00:20:50,677
Sorry. Bear with.

278
00:20:51,637 --> 00:20:55,437
- Hi.
- Hi.

279
00:20:57,599 --> 00:21:00,979
Sorry, we're just, we're
just doing an interview.

280
00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:03,080
Who with?

281
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:06,300
Emma Lyttleton.

282
00:21:06,401 --> 00:21:09,161
It's funny, because I'm Emma Lyttleton.

283
00:21:12,802 --> 00:21:14,802
- Wait, so, so you're?
- Not.

284
00:21:17,043 --> 00:21:19,463
- No. Should I?
- Yeah.

285
00:21:19,564 --> 00:21:23,034
- Yeah, sure. Sorry.
- It's all right.

286
00:21:23,125 --> 00:21:25,125
Sorry.

287
00:21:29,326 --> 00:21:34,326
- Sorry. Right, that was awful.
- Which bit?

288
00:21:35,608 --> 00:21:37,888
[Ben] Pretty much all
of it so far, I'd say.

289
00:21:40,689 --> 00:21:42,949
- Do you do this a lot?
- Embarrass myself.

290
00:21:43,049 --> 00:21:45,749
- Interview people.
- Yeah, I, I do a bit

291
00:21:45,850 --> 00:21:48,830
for the paper and I also
write for a men's magazine.

292
00:21:48,931 --> 00:21:50,111
What's that?

293
00:21:50,211 --> 00:21:52,211
All cars, clothes, and
how to talk to women.

294
00:21:52,532 --> 00:21:55,312
I have never written an
article on how to talk to women.

295
00:21:55,412 --> 00:21:58,612
- Or read one, apparently.
- Okay, great.

296
00:21:59,733 --> 00:22:00,873
Should we start?

297
00:22:00,974 --> 00:22:04,824
Okay, cool. Recording.

298
00:22:06,335 --> 00:22:11,195
So Emma, is this the worst start

299
00:22:11,296 --> 00:22:13,296
to an interview you've ever had?

300
00:22:13,897 --> 00:22:15,037
I've never been interviewed before,

301
00:22:15,137 --> 00:22:16,717
so I've little to compare it to.

302
00:22:16,817 --> 00:22:18,037
Okay. Well you should
probably know it's,

303
00:22:18,138 --> 00:22:19,038
it's pretty bad.

304
00:22:19,138 --> 00:22:21,998
Do you think there's any
chance we can turn it around?

305
00:22:22,099 --> 00:22:24,479
I doubt it, but you know,

306
00:22:24,579 --> 00:22:26,579
we'll give it a try.

307
00:22:27,260 --> 00:22:29,260
So, what happens next?

308
00:22:30,421 --> 00:22:32,981
(upbeat music)

309
00:22:33,031 --> 00:22:37,581
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